Divorce: An Unhappy Ending

I was introduced to the word 'divorce' during the time of B.A.Y, the friendship of three best friends. Using the first letter in our names, we created B.A.Y. because we thought we were "cool". Thus, as "cool" best friends, we did everything together. Rather, we tried to do everything together.

My two best friends had divorced parents. However, I wasn't concerned about the term 'divorce' until it started interfering with B.A.Y.'s play dates. We were frustrated as there were scheduled mandatory days and weekends for my best friends to be with one parent. In fear of loosing our friendship, we shed tears and threw fits while our parents tried to assure us that "it was not the end of the world". We believed them until one best friend moved in with her dad, 12 hours away. Shortly after, the other best friend moved due to the relocating of her new Step Dad's job.

After six years of adventures, the best friendship disappeared; B.A.Y. lived unhappily ever after.

You can always learn in an unhappy ending. For example, I learned that divorce is the epitome of an unhappy ending. From observation and experience, I noticed that divorce affects more than two people. It affects everyone, from immediate and extended family, to neighbors and friends.

Today, divorce is common. Although it is accepted by a majority of our society, divorce is still controversial among Christians. The divorce rate amongst the Christian community is significantly higher than other faiths, according to studies from Barna Research Group, a leading research organization, which provides information involving faith and culture. Thus, it is apparent that society's acceptance of divorce has negatively influenced many Christians' worldview. We should still be accountable to one another and not be passive when hear about divorce.

I think that divorce should not be an option in a Christian marriage, unless an unfaithful act is committed by either spouse. Divorce should not be seen as the "get out of jail" card, as I have once heard it referred as. Matthew 19:9 says, "I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery." I still believe this is the only way divorce is allowed and that remarriage is not highly tolerated. However, even with these beliefs, I still have questions.

--Some of my concerns came from my thoughts about how Christ treats his bride(the body of Christ). Even when we sin and abandon him, he never leaves us, so why does he permit leaving the adulterer or adulteress?

--Focusing on the idea of sin, I question why we weigh divorce higher than other sins if there is no sin greater than any other sin.

--Another question is common among many. It involves the question of permitting divorce based off of other exceptions besides adultery. What about those who are currently struggling through an abusive relationship?

With many questions, I tend to shy away from discussions about divorce. I am uncomfortable not knowing where I completely stand on the issue. I fear that by asking questions, I may offend someone. I also fear questioning because I expect negative responses. I automatically think of an unhappy ending. However, this does not mean it is okay for me to stay in my comfort zone. I should remember that sometimes asking questions is a way of showing accountability. Accountability should be present in good and bad situations.

"Now we know that whatever the law says, it says to those who are under the law, so that every mouth may be silenced and the whole world held accountable to God" - Romans 3:19